Steve’s First Blog Post

424863_10150565031583912_2046016596_nOkay, TECHNICALLY this isn’t my “first” blog post; but it is the first blog post for my new Official Webpage.

Okay, TECHNICALLY this isn’t my “new” website, as I’ve been parking the URL with a token page for a number of years.

So, this is the first blog post of the revived website.  Okay?  Does that work?

Those of you familiar with me and my work will find this of marginally academic interest.  For those of you who just found this page through some bizarre, elaborate string of internet search queries and may be wondering who I am and what this is all about, I say, Welcome!  Those of you who are just here for the writing news can look over yonder at my Twitter feed or my books section.  SPOILER ALERT: I’m still writing, if only intermittently these days because of severe creative constipation.

So this post is for the curious familiar with my work, or the new, curious about me.  My name is Steve Karmazenuk, and I write books.  Not for a living; not yet.  But it does generate a nice little monthly stipend that is basically “Mad Money”…mainly because I’m so mad about how little money it is.

I’ve been in love with Genre (Sci-fi, fantasy, some horror) since I was a kid.  I was six years old, and two of my clearest middle-childhood memories involve Star Wars.  There’s several more involving watching the early syndication runs of Star Trek (Particularly the first time I saw it on a colour television – yes, I’m that old.), an about-to-be-revived show called Space:1999, the film 2001: A Space Odyssey (Which I spent most of my formative years trying to interpret) and that Peter Fonda movie about the space hippie and his robot gardeners.  I had the original 12-inch Superman, Spiderman, Batman and Incredible Hulk dolls, which boasted articulated shoulders, elbows wrists, knees and ankles, and were held together at the articulated waist by elastic bands.  There is nothing more traumatizing than watching your favourite superhero suddenly snap in half and see rubber “guts” start coming out of him.  Of course this was back in the day when any parent with a pair of pliers, manual dexterity and a spare rubber band could repair said same toy without incurring the cost of a replacement toy.  You only had to replace them after their costumes wore out (They were made of cheap nylon cloth – like the half-assed Cosplay costumes you see today, only miniature-sized!) or if the dog decided that Spidey’s head made for a very tasty chew-toy.

Hell, I even had the 16 inch Buck Rogers in the 25th Century doll, and for some reason a bunch of action-figure-sized Buck Rogers…action figures.  16 inches of Gil Gerard is a LOT.

I was a Geek back before it was cool, back when it was as much a justification for childhood persecution as the color of your skin (This WAS the 1970s) or your overbite or the funny way you pronounced your words (This WAS also back when bullying was socially acceptable) I also grew up in a very, very rural environment, so the only time I saw my friends was at school.  So whenever I was by myself I would have to invent “invisible people” to play roles in the games I wanted to play.  And when action figures got involved, I’d spend my time carefully setting them up and plotting the scene, story and action that I was going to play out with them, before actually playing.  Hell, at school my friends and I would spend First Recess planning the Star Wars or Superhero story we would play out at the longer Lunch Recess, and the concluding chapter of the Afternoon Recess.  So, I think it was always in me to be a story teller.

I remember the first story I ever sat down to write.  I even remember why I wrote it and what it was about.  I was thirteen years old, I’d just suffered my first-ever major panic attack (What is it with the correlation between mental illness and creativity?  Is there causation as well?) and for some reason I felt a desire to write, to ensure that I put my mark on the world.

As to the story itself, it was the first of several awful stories I wrote in high school, all of which I took out to the barbecue pit in my back yard when I turned 18, and used them to light the fire that cooked my birthday T-bone steak, literally eating my words – and destroying all proof of the awful shit I wrote as a kid.

After college and hundreds of pages of bad poetry (Now mouldering in a box in my ex-wife’s basement storage unit) I started writing more serious, more mature stuff, but it was intermittent, and I was not motivated or inspired to actually make a go of writing.

Then along came J. Michael Straczynski’s unbelievably epic television series, Babylon 5, and enraptured me for 5 years.  By the end of it I was writing seriously again, and though not many of my ideas came to fruition, I had some sort of…experience…that became my currently most successful series of eBooks, The Omniverse.

Ah, yes…the legendary Download as I call it.  My go-to example is the Star Trek: the Next Generation episode, “The Inner Light”, in which an alien space probe targets Jean-Luc Picard, and he’s hit with an Alien Mystery Ray that causes him to experience an entire lifetime on the now-extinct planet, Ressika.  For him it was a 90 some-odd year journey.  For the crew of the bridge watching him lie spastic on the floor, it was a 90-second “Oh Dear, the Captain Has Wet His Pants” emergency.

So this relates to me how, you might be asking?  Because one night, sometime in 1997 after B5 had gone off the air, but before LoTR stood for something ELSE entirely in Fandom, I was pondering various story threads I had retrieved somewhere along the way and suddenly had the Download.

Stephen King wrote about the Muse shitting on his head.  This was more like that Star Trek the Next Generation episode, with a dash of Neo getting his first file upload from Tank, in The Matrix.  I experienced what has, so far, become the first three of five volumes of story as one massive compressed set of images, I was left with a migraine, and I knew the entire story of what has become the Steve Karmazenuk’s Omniverse Series.  The first three parts of the story are written, and I’m taking a bit of a vacay before hitting Book Four, because there was another two stories bouncing around my skull like ricocheting .22 caliber shots that need getting out, down written and put out there.  One’s an alien invasion story, not with a twist, but with a…shall we say…second glance.  The other is about lost souls wandering the world between the Earth and the spirit realm, decidedly non-sparkling, predatory and not all angsty blood sucking undead (Who prefer NOT to be called vampires, thank you) and various classes of, for lack of a better term, angelic beings.  Those of you who ever heard of the old Jumpgate website may already know of what I speak.

As to the rest of you, well, come here every now and again, or subscribe to the RSS and Newsletter, and I’ll let you know when the site is updated.  There’s also my Twitter feed, which I may have mentioned, along with links to my Facebook Author’s page, and the Facebook page for the Omniverse series.

You can also email me by, yes, clicking the link below, and I’ll be glad to answer your questions, and possible use them for future blog material here on the website.  You should also note that my books are for sale through the links to one side of this blog, and that the emergency exits are to the fore, middle, and aft of the cabin.