They Came in Peace is only a few days away from release.
Yet, I feel nothing.
I feel as though my life is over. The friends I had long gone…the friends I deserved chased away by my own fear of being hurt again…my children now outgrowing spending one out of every two weekends with their loser dad…
…agoraphobia so bad I had a panic attack that essentially rendered me unemployable…
Whenever I sleep, I dream of times that once were, friends long gone, and the sweet, immortal energy of youth.
All three things I will never know again.
A former friend whom I loved like a brother often told me I was the most resilient person he knew; but even the most resilient object has a shatterpoint; a moment or event under which stress or accumulated stress causes massive failure to the object, overall.
That’s what causes jet aircraft to disintegrate midair, or condominium towers to collapse, that’s what killed the Columbia in reentry and countless other tragedies.
I’ve reached my shatterpoint.
I’m living in a present with no future, haunted by demons of my past.
I’ve had more than I can take, and I just want everything to end.